


Nox Terrorem

by stacymc2012



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-08
Updated: 2014-08-08
Packaged: 2018-02-12 06:49:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2099655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stacymc2012/pseuds/stacymc2012
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm not going to lose you, River, I just... Can't lose you." He continued, "We have time! We have plenty of time!" ... "I love you... My Doctor..." She whispered, breathlessly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nox Terrorem

**Author's Note:**

> There's lots more to this one than meets the eye.   
> I wrote this fic with my best friend three years ago, while she and I were both high on sugar and peanut butter. (It's a rather long story.)
> 
> I hope you enjoy! ...Keep some tissues beside you.

The subconscious mind of a Time Lord was a hard place to pull someone out of, especially when one was in such deep sleep as The Doctor. He was so exhausted from the previous day; he was dead asleep; he wasn't sure what caused his eyes to flutter open slowly, but unaware. However, it was the clear sound of retching coming from his bathroom that made his sleepy mind clear. He turned to his left, "River, what's..." He had reached his arm over to her, only to grab at empty air.

His eyes snapped open completely as his mind connected the dots, "River?"

More gagging noises were heard from the bathroom.

 "River? Are you alright?" He called again and threw back the covers, deciding to go check on her. For such a brilliant man, he lacked common sense many times...

"Just... Fine... Sweetie!" River called out to him with a small edge in her tone with sarcasm laced around it. She rolled her eyes before heaving again and whispered to herself, "About time... He noticed..."

 He all but ran to where she was, "You don't sound it. Can I come in?" He asked a grimace on his face.

She didn't respond (she was too busy, y'know, throwing up her stomach contents). The Doctor tapped nervously on the door and after a full three seconds, he lost it. "Alright, I'm coming in..."

"'Bout ...Ti-" River had tried to pant out, but she was cut off by more... Vomit...

He opened the door, and his hearts dropped when he saw her. "Oh River..." He knelt down behind her almost instantly and pulled back as much of her wild, curly hair out of his face as he could with one hand, "Darling, I'm sorry I wasn't awake sooner..." He took a hairband off the counter and tied it around her curls in an unruly ponytail with great difficulty. He praised her for being able to manage such hair all the time!

 "It's fi-" She huffed as she began throwing up even more and harder than before. One would wonder where she was getting all of these contents from to get rid of through her mouth. The stomach of a Time Lord as always... Bigger, in a sense... 

He frowned, his concern for her growing while his hands came up to her tank-top clad back and he massaged it in a soothing manner. "How long have you been like this, River?"

"I'd say," She winced as she thought about it, "maybe an hour, maybe more? I don't know, I haven't been able to keep-" She wrapped her arms around her stomach and began throwing up again, with more intensity.

"What?" One of his hands came to rest on her stomach over her folded arms.

"Wh-what?" She looked up at him, paler than he ever thought possible for her.

He rubbed her back, "You should've woke me, I would've been here to hel-" He paused then frowned, "Why didn't you wake me?"

River knew that he was no longer talking to her angrily, but to the TARDIS. Touch-telepathy. The ship just hummed back lowly as her response. The Doctor frowned, "Oh don't give me that! You know better than that!"

"Doct-" River tried to keep herself from having another bloody encounter with the toilet.

He stopped instantly, but not before muttering to the ship: "I'll deal with you later." He turned his attention to her, "Is there anything you want me to get you, River?"

She swallowed and shook her head, "Nothing just..." She held her stomach tightly.

The Doctor frowned, "Your stomach hurts...?"

River nodded and he pressed his hand into her stomach and felt around it.

At first, it actually helped a bit to have his hand pressing down on her stomach. But a few minutes passed, and he was still pressing his hand down on her stomach; it was beginning to become unbearable. River took in a few deep breaths, her muscles tensing but she let him keep his hand on her stomach if only for him to figure out the hell was happening to her.

"River, what did you eat last night...?" His eyebrows furrowed.

"Uhm..." She thought about it, "Some of that salad from the... restaurant we went to for... Dinner..."

"What kind of greens were in it?" He urged her, his eyes widening slightly, but she caught onto it. She saw the panic in them.

She winced, wrapping her arms around her stomach tighter as the burning sensation intensified, "I don't... I can't remem-ber...Ow, Doctor, make it stop...Please." River had taken many nasty hits in her years, but never has she been taking it this badly. This was the worst feeling to top them all.

"River, I need you to answer the question first: Were there any dark purple, Vinidium leaves in the salad?" He hated doing this to her, but he couldn't cuddle her yet, he had to know; it was rather critical.

She closed her eyes, thinking back to the dinner of the previous evening, River nodded, "Y-yes, there were—AH!—why?" There were tears forming in her eyes again.

His eyes went wide, the wheel began turning in his head as bitter realization hit him in the face, "Time Lords can't have those! It'll kill them within just a couple of hours..." He picked her up suddenly, figuring that she wouldn't be throwing up anymore since she hadn't in the last couple of minutes and ran off.

"What do you mean 'Kill them'? Like... I've been poisoned?" Wouldn't be the first time. River groaned, putting her face to his chest when she felt another wave of discomfort pass through her.

"Uhh, more like you'll be dead in a matter of... Eight minutes and forty-six seconds if we don't get you the antidote now." He said frantically as they rushed into the kitchen.

Her hearts were beating rapidly now, and felt like they were going to pound out of her chest. River swallowed, her hands gripping his shirt tightly. "I love you, Doctor." She said sadly, a knot forming in her throat.

He kissed her head and shushed her, "Hey, come on now, you're not dead. Yet." He winced at his own words. "Besides, we still have a wedding to plan from last time you nearly died on us." He said lightly, trying to loosen the tension. He set her down on a chair and went to put a concoction of thing together as a known antidote to counteract the effects these leaves had on the physiology of Time Lords.

"So, a wedding... Could you promise me children if I survive this time?" She chuckled tearfully, watching him run about the kitchen.

He looked over at her and gave her a wide grin, "Oh! Thousands of them, love! We could repopulate all of Gallifrey!" He began mixing what he had put in the bowl but his face fell when he saw that faraway look in her eyes.

The Doctor quickly put everything down and walked over to her side, cupping her face, he squatted down in front of her. Brushing away her tears with his thumbs, he whispered, "Hey, hey... Shh, shh... You have no reason to cry, River Song. I will never let anything happen to you. I promise." He brought her face, still in his hands; closer to his then laid a gentle kiss on her warm forehead. "Be strong." He whispered against her skin.

"I'm trying, my love." She whispered back then clenched her jaw before she started crying in front of him.

"Good, keep it up, dear. I've almost got this ready for you." He grabbed the bowl with all the different substances in it and kept mixing it; pausing briefly to check his watch, "Six minutes and twelve seconds..."

River exhaled slowly a deep breath she had taken in. She was trying so hard not to cry, but the pain grew. "Okay... Mix for five minutes... FIVE MINUTES? I don't have that kind of time!" He huffed and began mixing faster, though he knew that wasn't going to work, seeing as it needed to be mixed for five minutes exactly.

She watched him, tears burning in her eyes as she knew this was it... This was the end. She needed to tell him something though... There was something she needed to tell him before she- "Do-Doctor...?" She called lowly and without strength but knew he wouldn't be able to hear her over his ramblings on time.

The Doctor hadn't noticed her yet; his mind was too busy figuring ways to multitask with all the different ingredients he still had to add as he continued stirring. His hand was beginning to cramp up a bit and his arm was beginning to hurt as well, but he didn't care. He was not about to let River die. Not on his watch. Not ever.

"Doc-" She choked on her breath and began coughing furiously, but he couldn't stop stirring when he heard her practically coughing her lungs out. "River, stay with me!" He called. She gasped for breath and held onto her chair tightly as the burning pain reached a whole new level where the curly blond was now seeing a light show before her eyes. "I-I am..." She gasped again as the nostrils flared. She took in large breaths to keep from passing out.

He looked back at her and the sight shattered his hearts all over again, "River, you need to stay with me!" He begged, forcing himself to turn and continue stirring, "I'm almost done, almost there, just a little longer!"

Tears were rolling down her cheeks as she nodded, but she knew she couldn't last that long. She felt herself losing all her strength and she knew she had to tell him what she needed to now; she couldn't die with this in her. She stood; staggering because her legs were now long sticks of gelatin and to her no support. She grabbed onto the table to keep herself upright then reached for the chair, took several steps to the counter. When she grasped firmly onto the counter, she realized how close she was to her target; she couldn't let go now. She needed to get to him. She needed to tell him. Her steps were slow and measured like a child who didn't know how to swim, hanging on the edge of an 8-feet-deep pool, trying to get to his lifeline. River continued taking slow steps as The Doctor once more yelled out, "Two minutes and forty-nine seconds! Almost done! Really! This is almost finished in a minute! Hang on, River!"

The woman reached out with a trembling hand and gripped his shoulder, "Doctor... Stop... There's no more time left..." She whispered.

He turned to her and his hearts nearly stopped beating altogether as his face fell even more. Her sweat-covered skin was as pale as a ghost. Her usually sparkling, silver eyes were wide with fear, exhaustion and defeat. She kept opening her mouth to try and form words, but all that came out were strangled cries and whimpers of pain. "Doctor" seemed to be the only thing she could actually get out. Her breathing was becoming more and more shallow and rapid. Her beautiful face contorted in agony.

"I can't, River. I can't just stop! I can't just... Let go of you like that, give up.. I can't just... I... I have to finish, you need to be stronger. C'mon, we can do this. We can make it... Just breathe... Sit, I..." He was frantic. So much was going through the head at the moment; he wasn't sure what to do. He hadn't realized that they were now out of time. What he did know was that he wasn't giving up on her.

She shook her head sadly, still standing. "River. Please." He begged her. His lips were trembling; his eyes became glassier as unshed tears knocked on the doors of his tear ducts. His gray orbs shone with devastation, sadness and pain. "I'm not going to lose you, River, I just... Can't lose you." He continued, "We have time! We have plenty of time! You and me. We'll-"

"D-Doctor..." The light was fading in her eyes.

"River just—Hold on..." His voice cracked like a boy going through puberty.

River hated seeing him like this and felt her own hearts beginning to break at the site. Using a trembling hand, she put it over his, the one that was still stirring and stopped him. He did and she took a step closer, practically falling into him. He dropped the bowl to catch her. He knew it was all over, he just refused to accept reality. "Doctor... I..." She panted, composed herself then whispered, "I must tell you..." She swallowed and took his face in her clammy, shaking hands to make sure he looked her in the eyes, "We'll always... Run." She continued her struggle for air, "Always be with you..." Her eyes began to droop as her skin lost all color as did her lips, "You and me... Always run... Run together..." She felt it. She felt herself losing grip of reality and just life altogether.

Air was no longer reaching her lungs and her throat felt drier than sand paper as she whispered her last words, "I love you... My Doctor..." Then it happened. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head and her body went limp.

"No! River, NO!" His vision blurred now from the profusion of the tears coming out of his eyes. He grabbed her lifeless body and sat himself down the floor, hugging her close to his chest. "You can't be...No..." He held her body tighter, running his hands through her curls and over her face; her skin already becoming cold. He allowed the tears to flow freely from his eyes, "NO!" He cried out in frustration and point.

 

"Doctor. Doctor...DOCTOR!" A whispered voice echoed through the TARDIS. "Wake up! Doctor, please! You're scaring me, Sweetie! Wake up!"

"River? River?" He tried to shake her awake. It was her voice he was hearing and there was hope in him that she was still alive. It was River's voice, but her lips weren't moving.

The Doctor, frustrated, confused, heartbroken, became frantic, "River?"

 

"I'm here! You're having a nightmare, wake up!" He didn't process her words, because he was so relieved that he could at least hear her voice again. "Doctor! Wake! Up!" 

"River? Please, please darling! I'd give anything... Just, wake up! Please River, please?" He cradled her body closer.

The subconscious mind of a Time lord was a scary place to pull someone out of.

Suddenly, the TARDIS shifted before The Doctor's eyes. The kitchen melted into his dark bedroom. River's body faded out, too, like a hologram. He shouted angrily, "NO! Give her BACK!" His arms swung out, fists clenched, and connected with something warm and soft.

"DOCTOR!" River let go of his face to rub where he had accidentally punched her in the shoulder.

He jumped suddenly, now back in reality. "River...?" His voice rasped out lowly and hoarse. He had been crying and it didn't help that he'd been screaming for so long that his throat was now dry and sore.

"Alive and bruising." She said, frowning at him and rubbing her shoulder, "My love, what's wrong? What happened?" River was sitting on the bed, facing him with her legs folded underneath her.

"It's just... I.." He cupped her face and suddenly kissed her deeply.

"Mmm...Mmm, darling..." River said softly in between, her hands traveling to his shoulders. She pulled back, breathing heavily, "What's gotten into you, Sweetie? Though you know I'm not one to mind kisses such as those," Her face was flushed from the sudden deep kiss.

"Just... You're alive..." He hugged her close and tightly, burying his cheek in her curls, "God, River, I love you, don't ever forget that. I love you so much...and, and... Please, promise me, promise me that we'll run forever..." He whispered into her hair, sounding conflicted.

River was stunned by his words, but replied without missing a beat, "I promise you, Doctor. I'll always run with you. Us. Always." She turned so that her lips were at his temple, and she kissed him softly there.

"Thank you..." He whispered and hugged her close and tightly again, burying his face in her neck, and inhaling his scent. All River could do was hold him back.

All of a sudden, The Doctor abruptly pulled back and his hands flew to her stomach area. River's eyebrows furrowed, "Uhm, Sweetie? What are you doing...exactly?" she squirmed when his fingers brushed lightly over her sides. She knew he wasn't trying to tickle her, by the absolute deadly serious expression on his face, so why was he feeling her stomach like it was the most important thing in the universe.

"River, you feel fine, right?" He asked, straightening and looking into her eyes with such intensity that it took her a while to process what he had asked her.

"I... What?" She blinked, confused by the question.

"Do you feel...sick? Nauseous? Ill?" He continued rambling off with synonyms until she kissed him to shush him.

She pulled back, "I feel fine, my love. Why do you ask?"

"I... Just wanted to make sure... Are you positive?" He reached over for his sonic screwdriver.

She shrugged, nodding and let him scan her. "Absolutely," she affirmed, chuckling slightly at his relieved face, "You've asked me a lot of odd questions, sweetie."

"Nothing... Just... Can I hold you tonight, River?" He whispered gently, his face growing somber and he laid a hand over her cheek.

She leaned into his hand, putting her hand over his, all the while, kissing his palm. "Of course, my love. Anything you need." River said softly, feeling her own tears brimming. Whatever had frightened The Doctor, her love, this much, she didn't like it one bit.

"Thank you.." Wrapping his long arms around her waist, he pulled her back down to lay with him in bed, both facing each other with droopy eyes, exhaustion setting in when they both hit the pillow.

"Hmm..." The Doctor kissed her nose gently and then whispered to her as they both were beginning to lull to sleep by the humming that the TARDIS was providing the couple. "You and I, River..."

"..We'll always run together, Doctor. Always." She whispered, her eyes closing completely.

"Always." He repeated in a whisper and closed his own eyes again.


End file.
